"Building Fences: The Importance of Limit-Setting with Children"
Building Fences Around Bad Behaviorread more
View ArticleBehavior Management Coaching: Helping Parents to Step In When Kids Act Out
When nannies with supernatural powers are unavailable, behavior management coaching for parents of special needs kids can be crucial.read more
View ArticleHard Feelings: How Empathy Escapes Us
Imagine you're sitting on a bus. You're lost in thought about some aspect of your daily life - the groceries on your list, whether to book that flight, why your mother is upset with you -- anything....
View ArticleThings We Need You to Know: Tuning in to the Voice of Troubled Kids
For those who would be caregivers of children with significant emotional and behavioral problems, the learning curve can be very steep.read more
View ArticlePlaying Pointless Games: Resolving to Break Bad Patterns with Our Kids
"He just needs to quit whining and complaining and snap out if it," Sam (as we'll call him), a father and therapy client says about his conflict with his teenage son, Jack. I remind him that when he...
View ArticleFrom the Mouths of Babes: The Solution to Suffering
My seven month old daughter has it all figured out. She quickly smiles if something happens that makes her happy. It is so easy to get her going with laughing or giggling. All I have to do is tickle...
View ArticleFrom Reaction to Response: On Being the Change that Ends the Tragedy of Violence
With the news of the tragic events this weekend in Tucson, many people are understandably grasping for reasons, explanations for the alleged shooter's behavior. What leads someone to commit such acts...
View Article“Getting Real” with Difficult Teens
One of my most important lessons across the many teens I've worked with as a therapist is that kids usually have good "inauthenticity" radar. Put another way, they are pretty good at detecting bull in...
View ArticleOpen Book: A Parent's Guide to Self-Disclosure with Kids
I've told kids and adults I've worked with as a therapist about how I quit Little League because of my fear of dropping a fly ball in front of everyone. My story about the time I climbed a mountain in...
View ArticlePraising Kids Is Not Enough
The research literature is pretty clear that the most important factor that makes kids "resilient" - particularly kids who are "at-risk" - is a close, connected relationship with a stable adult.read more
View ArticleThe Importance of Rope-Dropping When Kids Are "Difficult"
When I was a boy, I loved to toss rocks into the large reservoir down the street from my house. Sometimes I skipped them on the surface, but if the thin pieces of rock were unavailable, I opted for...
View ArticleThe Parenting Power of Understanding Your Emotional "Buttons"
Are you willing to "disable" yours?read more
View ArticleThe Relationship Is in the Eye of the Beholder
There is a Zen parable in which a powerful samurai warrior came to the Master in search of the secret of life. read more
View ArticleLetting the Chips Fall: Control and Letting Go With Your Children
When I was a kid, one of my favorite game shows was "The Price is Right." I liked the game "Plinko" - where contestants earned "plinko chips" by accurately estimating prices of household goods...
View ArticleThe Apple Can Fall Far from the Tree
I almost convinced myself it was summer from the way the light came through the windshield of my mom's car and poked at the laces of the glove resting on my lap. "I hope you have fun today," said my...
View ArticleThings We Need You to Know: Tuning in to the Voice of Troubled Kids
For those who would be caregivers of children with significant emotional and behavioral problems, the learning curve can be very steep. The off-putting, disruptive and sometimes dangerous behavior from...
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